This came across my instagram feed last week, and I read it about 10 times. Something about it resonated with me so strongly, I saved it, I liked it, I shared it, and here it is again.
It’s a simple logic right? Many do it every single day without a second thought. But for some, (me) it’s not that easy. Struggling, is not as easy as springing out of bed and getting on with the day. Anyone who knows me knows I am no Julie Andrews, but more of Grumpy Cat.
But, I have a 7 year old, who watches me like my dog watches me eat, and as much as I would like to return to the snuggling cocoon of my bed, (with the resident labrador) I need to show her that sometimes you just have to keep going.
Getting up is step one.
Dress up is step two.
My closet is a mecca of uniforms, yoga wear, jeans, barn clothes, comfortable tights and long shirts. I don’t dress up. I remember when I first met my now husband, he looked in my closet and asked “where are all your clothes?” I don’t work in an office, I don’t require an office attire. I don’t go clubbing, so I don’t require any sparkly tops and leather pants. I either wear a uniform provided to me by my employer, or I wear yoga pants (that ACTUALLY go to yoga, yes!) or tights and comfy tops. My idea of dressing up is jeans, my nicest comfy shirt and boots. And to make it extra dressy….wait for it…..
I have been known to dress up an occasion or two, but honestly that happens at christmas, weddings, funerals or (maybe) girls night out. So last week when skinny mom posted this, I thought, lets do a little experiment. So I put on my best jeans, my nicest yoga jacket, and my favourite scarf. I spent extra (2mins) with my hair straightener, put on some eyeshadow and mascara. A strange thing happened. I felt great. Hmmm..dressing up…are we on to something here?
Show up is Step Three.
It’s hard. There is always somewhere we need to be, or somewhere we’ve been invited to and all too often the lazyies get us. Usually for me, once I’m home, I’m home. Good luck luring me out of the house again. Mostly because for me to leave will require steps 1 and 2. Which goddammit, I’ve already done once today!
A few years ago, I read this wonderful book by Gretchen Rubin called “The Happiness Project”
Sounds, hokey, but it was honestly great. She isn’t a physiotherapist or a PHD or whatever. She was a busy lawyer, wife and mom, trying to find more purpose and joy in her life. One of her resolutions was “Show Up”
Showing up is important for building relationships, studies show, because familiarity breeds affection. The “mere exposure effect” describes the fact that repeated exposure makes people like music, faces—even nonsense syllables—better. According to the “exposure principle,” the more often a person sees another person, the more intelligent and attractive that person will be ranked.
I’ve noticed this about myself. Even when I don’t take an immediate liking to a person, I tend to like him or her better, the more often we see each other. And at the same time, of course, the more I show up, the more that person likes me.
Also, “showing up” exposes me to new mental and physical environments. I love routine in every way, but even I have to admit that the happiness experts are right when they say that novelty and challenge bring happiness. Whenever I leave my hamster-wheel habits, I get a boost of happiness. -Gretchen Rubin,The Happiness Project
How freeing would that be if we could get rid of the negative things we think about a person, simply by being around them? Sounds it sounds worse then a root canal on your birthday, but what if it works? What if we could do some emotional house keeping by merely showing up?
So this has become my mantra. “Oh, you’ll have fun once you’re there.” and she’s typically right about those things.
Living with the constant pull to your bed is tough. But I refuse to make me sink, because honestly… I have a life that’s good.